She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
