i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
