What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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