I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
