i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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