He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm bleeding and have questions
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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