You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
