i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
