glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
