p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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