wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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