You're a womanizer and a bitch.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
