So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
