Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
