what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
