just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
