i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
