So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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