so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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