And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
