Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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