We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
