Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
