1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Houston, we have a blender
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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