All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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