sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
