He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
