No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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