Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do vagina's smell?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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