I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
