I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
