Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
