True but thats because hes a fetus.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
