You work out of a Hotel?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
