She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
