i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
