how can u be prego again
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
