David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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