What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
