That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize