I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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