problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
