My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
