I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
