ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize