i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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