At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize