People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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