We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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