I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
