he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
