I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
