my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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