I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize