if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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