I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Floor bacon is actually really good
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
