Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
