i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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