Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
