btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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