thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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