oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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