I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize