I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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