Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
