Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
