do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
