the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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