Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
