My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You ruined the universe
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
