Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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