She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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