Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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